The BrambleSquirrel Dictionary
by Ayla505x
Summary: Sometimes, it takes a skilled eye to find the meaning behind the words. A collection of short drabbles focusing on Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight, whose relationship appears disfunctional to those who can't read between the lines.
1. A : Affection

**A: Affection**

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><p>"If you'd quit being a mouse-brain and let me think for <em>just a second<em>," the ginger she-cat snapped furiously, her tail raised high above her head and bristling in annoyance as she glared at the much larger dark tabby in front of her, "we could get this over with! But I really doubt your attention span is long enough, even for that!"

_I want your attention._

The brown tom's eyes glittered with carefully controlled anger as he stared back at the she-cat. "If you'd quit acting like a cornered rabbit and tell me why you've been stranger than usual these past few days, I wouldn't be late for the dawn patrol."

_I'm worried about you and want you to be honest with me._

The younger of the two lowered her tail slowly, looking away swiftly. That was enough to prove to her significant other that something was wrong. Squirrelflight never wavered, not for anyone. "I...I just..." She shuffled her paws on the ground slowly, sitting back on her haunches. They were now blocking the entrance to the warriors' den, but neither seemed to noticed. "Don't get the wrong idea, because I... I don't want anything to be different between you and I... but I..."

_Help me out, here. I want you to know how I feel._

Brambleclaw snorted impatiently as he rolled his amber eyes. "Idiot," he grumbled.

_You're being silly._

"Excuse me?" The smaller hissed, though the anger in her eyes was short-lived. She gulped once, sighed, before words began to spill out of her mouth in a swift torrent. "I just wanted you to know that just because you're deputy now and everyone looks up to you, you're still the same you to me, and I want it to stay that way. I want us to stay the way we are, because you're mine and I'm yours and even though it may not seem that way to everyone around us, I care about you, and-"

Before she could finish, she found herself wrapped in the muscular forelegs of the big tabby. He held her close to him for a long moment, until she gave into the embrace and sighed in content. "Quit being stupid and come on my patrol with me."

_Nothing's changing between us._

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><p><strong>These things will be very short, since they're only drabbles. Yeah. XD<strong>

**The italics are what they really mean, by the way~**

**Please leave a review!**


	2. B : Betrothel

**B: Betrothel**

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><p><em>It was obviously meant to be, <em>Leafpool thought idly as she stared out the mouth of her den to where her sister and ThunderClan's new deputy were arguing yet again. She shook her head with a slow sigh. _Firestar's daughter and Tigerstar's son. StarClan certainly has a sense of humor._

And yet she knew, it wasn't irony that brought these two together or made them such a perfect match. From the very beginning, Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw were at eachother's heels, pushing one another, challenging the other to become stronger. It was this bond that had allowed Squirrelflight to grow up the way she had over the journey to the Sundrown place. It was this bond that gave Brambleclaw courage to face the painful demise of his brother.

Leafpool's thoughts wandered far from her little den, from the the herbs she was supposed to be sorting, to a time not long ago when the prospect of the two together had been so completely unthinkable. They didn't get along. They'd never get along. A relationship couldn't be built on anger and annoyance.

It took a long time for Leafpool to realize it wasn't anger or annoyance they felt. This was simply the way they showed they cared- harsh words, challenges, and mocking retorts. Once, she had even asked her sister why she chose to spend so much time with a cat she despised.

Squirrelflight had snorted and rolled her eyes. "That idiotic furball needs someone to keep him in line!"

Brambleclaw, when asked the same thing, had a very similar response. "She's too stupid to stay out of trouble."

Leafpool knew, though. She knew what they meant.

_I need him._

_I need her._

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><p><strong>Second one done, this time from Leafpool's POV~<strong>

**By the way, most of these take place in the time between Sunset and The Sight, unless there are obvious hints that they don't (apprentice names, plot holes, ect.).**

**Please leave a review!**


	3. C : Comfort

**C: Comfort**

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><p>It wasn't fair that he had to suffer the way he did for something so radically out of his control.<p>

And yet the world seemed determined to torture him, from his untrusting Clanmates to his own inner sanctum of fear and lies.

She alone stood be his side, watching him, pushing him, forcing him out of that pitiful place of depression he otherwise would have succumbed to.

So one could say it was unusual, her reaction the day she found him sitting despondantly at the edge of the lake. His gaze was glassy, his expression unresponsive as he lost himself within his own guilt and self-loathing. The blood had long since been washed from the smooth stones, but sometimes he was sure he could still feel it clinging to his paws.

She approached him quietly, something that would otherwise have been quite difficult for her. Yet today, she didn't feel like her teasing would do him any good. The ginger she-cat sat silently at his side, not quite touching, just close enough to offer the warmth of her comfort. Neither spoke for a long moment, before she finally broke the silence. "You need to snap out of it."

_I miss you._

His head hardly turned, his eyes flickering briefly as he acknowledged her appearance. He tried to summon annoyance, anger, anything, something to retort with. But nothing came to mind, and he simply looked away again. "I don't know what you're talking about."

_I can't go back._

"Like hell you don't." Squirrelflight retorted hotly, her ear twitching as she continued to glare at him. "This pit you've dug yourself into isn't doing you any good, and it isn't doing your Clan any good."

"They don't care anyway." The calm of his voice only angered her further. He was slipping.

Again silence fell. She didn't try to deny it, which surprised, and hurt, him. When she finally spoke again, it was in so soft a voice he had to strain his ears to hear. "That may be true." She whispered, staring out across the sparkling expanse of the lake. "Perhaps they don't care. Perhaps they never will."

"If you were just going to try and hurt me more, why did you-"

"But that's not the point!" The little ginger cat snapped, cutting him off mid-sentence. She stood, rising to her full height with her fur bushing out around her. She seemed so powerful then, so brave and true, her green eyes glittering in defiance. "This is not you, Brambleclaw. This is a tom I don't know. This is a tom who has given up on everything around him!"

He stared at her, eyes wide, but she continued. "You are not weak. You are not helpless. You are strong and brave and powerful. So maybe I'm the only one who sees it! So be it!" She stepped forward, closer to him, staring him in the eyes with rigid ferocity. "Your duty is to protect these cats, to never give up on them, to make sure they stay safe."

"The you I hold in my heart, Brambleclaw, wouldn't let an accident get in his way." The way she said 'accident', that was exactly what it sounded like. Like Hawkfrost's death was only an unfortunate mistake, a minor obstacle. It was, in her mind. She needed him to see, without any doubt, that he'd done the right thing. The only thing. "You are the cat I love, and you will _not_ give in to this!"

He stopped coming to the lake after that. There was no longer any need. She kept the nightmares and the horrible guilt and fear at bay. Squirrelflight was all he needed to stay strong.

Sometimes, a translation simply wasn't needed.


	4. D : Duty

**D: Duty**

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><p>"Brambleclaw!" Squirrelflight gasped desperately, trying to keep up with the kit struggling insistently in her forelegs. Her mate appeared equally flustered, ducking around the nursery with his fur on end. "Where are the others?"<p>

"I don't know!" The deputy snapped, looking at the ginger she-cat for a moment and seeing the kit's obvious distress. "Can't you feed him?"

Squirrelflight gave him a dry look. "Brambleclaw, my teats do not produce-"

"I meant a mouse!" The tom hissed hurriedly, turning several shades pinker underneath his brown tabby pelt. "A mouse, you idiot!" He shook his head as he continued his search, but not finding any signs of the other kits.

He heard his mate behind him, trying to coax the kitten to eat some of the mouse. On top of that, he heard the squeaking of excited small voices. "Be quiet a sec," he said over his shoulder. "I think I hear them."

Reaching his paw into a hole in the thick bramble wall, he scooped out the furry bundles that were the missing kits. Sighing in relief, the two young warriors looked at eachother while the reunited kits began to tumble on the soft moss ground.

"This is the last time we kitsit for Sorreltail." Squirrelflight muttered, pushing the fluffy gray shape of Cinderkit back to her siblings.

_I don't think I could handle kits._

He almost grunted in agreement, but stopped at the last minute. "They sure are cute, though." The deputy muttered. "They won't be so difficult when they're older, then they'll be great warriors."

_We could handle it together._

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><p><strong>Cute? No? Tell me why! XD<strong>


	5. E : Endless

**E: Endless**

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><p>The way it had ended... it just felt so <em>wrong.<em> There was so much left unsaid, so much unexplained, so much love unreturned.

He wasn't supposed to look at her that way. The selfish part of her tugged unrelentlessly, saying he was wrong to feel as betrayed as he did, that _she_ was his light. _She_ was the reason he hadn't drowned in his own guilt and misery. _She_ was the reason he had been happy for so ma

ny seasons.

But when his amber eyes turned on her and all she felt was his cold judgement, it completely froze her. At one time his gaze had been so warm, so loving, so thankful to have her there. She'd basked in the warmth of his fire, the comfort of his sunlight. How could it change so swiftly to this... this bitterness?

Her selfishness was only skin-deep, though. For all her outward strength, inside she was absolutely terrified. The secret she'd kept for so long had nearly killed her, because she'd always prided herself with being completely honest about every thing in her life. She hadn't thought there would be such terrible consequences. Not for one moment did she think that possibly the kits she'd raised as her own would one day be subjected to a world without their father figure by their side.

It was brutally unfair. She had done it for her sister, the one cat that meant as much to her as Brambleclaw himself did. So what had Leafpool lost, her selfishness asked. Her role as medicine cat and her lover. Squirrelflight had left her kits, her honor, and her very best friend who was also the love of her life.

Squirrelflight had a reputation for being the most fearless she-cat in all the Clans. She was brave and outspoken, the fiery daughter of the ThunderClan leader. For years she'd been so proud. It was only when she lost everything that she realized her status meant nothing. All that mattered was them. Her. Him.

She was so scared.

She didn't want to lose him. Not again.

She didn't want him to look at her the way he'd looked at Hawkfrost after killing him.

She didn't want to be his source of misery.

That was what terrified her the most.

Despite all the pain around her, everything she felt...

She hated causing him pain.

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><p><strong>Kind of a sad one. DX Takes place after Sunrise, obviously. <strong>

**People say Squirrelflight is selfish. It's pretty obvious she isn't, but I thought it'd be interesting to try and incorporate that into her character a bit more. **

**Review, please? X3**


	6. F : Forever

**F: Forever**

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><p>Night had long since fallen, but the world was still bright. At least, it was for the four warrior Clans of the lake. Moons had passed since that final battle, and at last the Clans were done grieving and had decided tohave a celebration of sorts, much like the daylight Gathering Sandstorm had suggested when Lionblaze, Jayfeather, and Hollyleaf were still apprentices.<p>

The thought of Hollyleaf was a splinter in the heart of the ginger she-cat that overlooked her Clan's merriment with glazed green eyes. The apprentices tumbled and joked with the other Clans, elders gossiped, warriors debated, queens spoke about their mates and kits.

A wry smile slipped over her lovely face as she spotted the muscular form of Bramblestar slip over to speak with Mistystar and Rowanstar. Just last moon Blackstar had succumbed to an illness he'd been unable to combat due to his old age. Nowher old friend Tawnypelt was deputy, and it almost felt like she had everything she ever wanted.

Except Hollyleaf.

Except kits.

Kits of her own.

It was ridiculous, she knew. She hadn't been the greatest mother to Leafpool's litter, though she'd tried her best. She wasn't the youngest of she-cats, of which she was painfully aware, and she had responsibility for her Clan now as their deputy. No, kits deserved better than her. Nobody wanted her faulty kittens anyway.

Except Bramblestar.

Damn him.

The smile disapeared from her face as Bramblestar glanced her way. That guarded expression he kept on around the other leaders melted, and his golden gaze stole her breath away as he gave a heart-warming smile. Perfect.

Damn him.

She looked away quickly, pinkness tinging her cheeks beneath her dark orange fur. Why did this tom still have this affect on her, even after all these years? Maybe it was because technically, their romance was new now. He'd forgiven her, for which she was eternally grateful. But what did it make them? Were they mates? Friends? Leader and deputy? That would be the worst. She couldn't do professional distance. Not with Bramblestar.

It was cute, how she didn't even realize he was there until her poked her on the ear with his nose. She gave a tiny squeak and jumped, wheeling on him with tail bushed out and green eyes stretched wide. He chuckled as her fur slowly began to lie smooth and her statled expression changed to one of irritation.

"That wasn't funny!" she snapped, tail lashing. "What if you were a ShadowClan warrior, or a fox, or something?"

"Are you telling me you couldn't hold your own against a ShadowClan warrior or a fox?" He purred, rubbing his cheek against hers in a comforting gesture. "Somehow, I find that unlikely." His warm breath tickled her fur, and she was hardly breathing as the warmth trailed up to rest by her ear. "I'm sorry I scared you," he whispered against the soft fur as he felt her breath quicken.

"You didn't scare me." She murmured back, surprised her voice sounded so steady when she was shaking so violently inside. "You've never scared me."

"Now what do mean by that?" He smiled, pulling back to gaze into her eyes. She was open and honest as always, staring at him with those wide eyes that took in every detail of his face, reading into his expression, knowing him better than anybody else.

She blinked slowly, still trying to stop her legs from shaking. "When I was still an apprentice, and you were a warrior, I wasn't scared of you. Not when you scolded me or when you got angry or discouraged and took it out on me. I've never been scared of you." Her eyebrows drew together then as she searched his face even more frantically. "But we're not young anymore. And now I'm scared. I'm scared I won't ever have you the way I had you then."

He said nothing, watching her. She was distinctly uncomfortable, shifting her weight on each paw and flicking her ears in agitation. "This isn't about Hollyleaf," he said finally.

_Damn_ him.

"No. No, it's not." She murmured. And right after she said it, she realized it was true. "It's about me and you, and what I did. I ruined it for us. I hurt us and we'll never be right again. I know I shouldn't be worrying about this stuff, I'm deputy now and you're leader, so I shouldn't be distracted, but... I ruined our chance-"

She didn't continue, as he raised his paw and rested it on top of her own. "Squirrelflight." His voice was strong, steady, and it grounded her. "You and I both know we never could have had kits."

A deep, shuddering breath forced its way out of her, along with the whispered words, "I know."

"You denied it for so long. Deep inside you, you're still denying it." He inched closer to her, until her head was resting against the warmth of his chest. Her head was tucked against his shoulder, and she could feel his heartbeat right against her own. "But I always knew. Squirrelflight, you could never have kits."

"Then why..." she took a deep breath before continuing, "why did you believe me when I told you the kits were ours...?"

"I thought it was a miracle." He answered simply. "I thought you and I had created a miracle. And we did. We raised those kits into the most brilliant warriors the Clans have ever known. They're ours, just as much as they're Leafpool's. I couldn't be more proud of them." He lowered his head, resting it against hers. "I couldn't be more proud of you."

"But I'm barren." The words were blunt and hollow, muffled by his fur and by the tears forcing their way from her eyes. "I could never give you kits. I never wanted them, until I did, and then I realized I couldn't..."

"It's not your fault." His voice was forceful, commanding, but soothing. "I love you. I always have, even when I didn't know it or I hated you too much to realize. I don't blame you. You're all I need."

Damn him...

"I hate this." She muttered.

"I know." He answered.

"I wish you'd go away."

"I know."

"I _wanted_ your kits."

"I know."

"...But you don't mind?"

"No. I don't."

"You still love me."

"I still love you."

She sniffled, feeling pitiful, but so safe. "Promise?"

"I promise. I'll always love you."

"Forever?"

"Forever."

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><p><strong>Well, it's several days late, but here you go, Abellire. Happy birthday. ^^<strong>

**Review?**


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